New Women’s Officer revealed to be Robin Thicke in drag

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Controversy in the SU last night after the revelation that the newly elected SU Women’s Officer, Mariam Miller, is actually the alter-ego pop-musician Robin Thicke.

Miller was elected last night as the University of Sheffield SU’s representative for women, responsible for keeping the union free from sexism and discrimination. However, suspicions were first raised during Miller’s acceptance speech, when she announced to a crowded Bar One ‘I just can’t believe this! Maybe I’m going deaf, maybe I’m going blind? Maybe I’m going out of my, mii-iii-ii-iiind.’

While until that point nobody suspected that the controversial artist had infiltrated university politics, many eyebrows had been raised by Miller’s election video, which included a number of scantily clad women dancing around her suggestively. However, most voters responded positively to the video, expressing surprise that Miller had managed to secure the services of Pharrell Williams.

The video is just part of Miller well run campaign. At the hustings, she laid out her proposal for “to Organise regular focus groups to consult women on the issues that are important to them, with particular focus on areas where women are under-represented”, adding “I know you want them, I know you want them.”

However, the slight slip in character was seized upon by her rival candidates, who tore off Miller intricate rubber mask to reveal the disgruntled Thicke. When confronted about his deception, Thicke revealed he had planned to lift the ban on the controversial Blurred Lines, so he could make a fortune in royalties. ‘I mean, after we’d had a referendum on it… obviously’ he added.

Thicke was subsequently dragged from the union, screaming ‘I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling feminists.’ However, a constitutional crisis within the SU has since emerged, after the election’s runner up was revealed to be T.I. whearing a pair of novelty groucho-glasses.