Joggers the new terrorists, Cameron warns
Joggers are as great a threat to national security as terrorists, David Cameron warned in a speech today.
Following his close shave with a rogue runner yesterday, the Prime Minister said he has had a change of heart about the danger such “fitness fanatics” pose to the country.
Speaking after an emergency Cobra meeting, Cameron said: “Like many, I used to believe joggers were merely harmless, lycra-bound citizens who only wanted to lead peaceful lives.
“Now I realise they can come out of nowhere at a moment’s notice, with God knows what intentions. We are totally unprepared.”
Cameron stressed that not all joggers were potential threats and that he hoped the incident would not lead to a rise in jogophobia.
Dubbed “exercise extremists”, anyone caught moving at a reasonably fast pace in public from now on will be put under immediate surveillance.
Opponents fear the clampdown could harm attempts to cut down on obesity and make catching a bus after leaving the house late virtually impossible.