IS Claims Charlie Hebdo attack was “knock-knock joke gone awry”

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IS Claims Charlie Hebdo attack was “knock-knock joke gone awry”

Senior Islamic state officials have announced that yesterday’s attack on the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo was the result of a botched attempt at a knock-knock joke.

The brutal massacre was in fact part of a concerted comedy campaign by the Islamist militants against the magazine, in response to its satirical take on fundamentalist Islam.

Islamic State’s comedy style has divided critics, with many praising its unique brand of anti-humour. One commentator gave Jihadi John’s “severed heads under a basket trick” a rave review, comparing him to a young Tommy Cooper. And who can forget such classics as “why did the chicken cross the road?”? “To have its throat ritualistically slit, as is right a proper”.

However, the comedy troupes “doctor, doctor! I feel like an apostate” routine has been criticized by some quarters as the group has as-of-yet failed to deliver the punchline before the sketch erupts in brutal disembowelment.

In a statement to the Doodle Slug, IS’ leader, Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, took credit for yesterday’s attack, chuckling “what a zinger, haha, the look on your face”.

In an exclusive, al-Baghdadi shared with us the original script for yesterday’s attack:

“Knock Knock”

“Who’s there?”

“The divine vengeance of the prophet”

“The divine vengeance of the prophet who?”

At this point it became tragically clear that no one had ever explained to the perpetrators how a joke works.

Written by Joseph Robinson